“I don’t like spiders ‘n snakes, and that ain’t what it takes…”

These are the words my brain sang to me when I woke up this morning. Just the one line because my brain is apparently searching for the rest of whatever this tune is.

Apparently, I have recurring earworms this week. It began a few days ago when my local public radio station presented a segment–”People born on this day,” and began listing various celebrities/writers/public figures. Playing in the background of the segment was a song written by one of these notable persons of the day–Bobby Goldsboro. The tune was instantly identified by my brain as Goldsboro’s hit tune from 1968,  “Honey.”

The segment began innocently enough with the opening stanza:

“See the tree, how big it’s grown,

But friend, it hasn’t been too long,

It wasn’t big”

Oh, ok. So Bobby Goldsboro was born on this day, and I remember this song.

But then the song continued to play as the announcer continued to list the names of the  birthday people.

“Seriously?” I asked the the radio in my car, faithfully streaming all of this information. “You can stop now.”

But it continued. The list of notable people ended, and the song continued as the announcer continued to speak, giving updates for what was ahead on the station, next.

“Stop!” I yelled. “Just stop!” 

But it was too late. The song was embedded in my brain.

And my brain continued to play the song right through the chorus:

“And Honey, I miss you.

And I’m being good. 

And I’d love to be with you,

If only I could.”

“Please!” I cried, as I pulled into the garage and shut off the radio as well as the motor of the car.

And then “WHY?” I demanded of my brain, as it continued to faithfully replay the song, as I hung up the car keys, took off my coat, and deposited my wallet and cell phone on the kitchen counter.

I poured myself a mug of coffee, switched on my laptop and sat down to read email and write. And as I sat, contemplating the blinking cursor at the top of a new blank document, the following words stubbornly demanded my attention:

“I laughed at her, and she got mad,

The first day that she planted it, 

‘Twas just a twig…”

Disgusted, I got up, grabbed my coat and hat and ran outside to set up the chickens and ducks for the day. Herding the chickens to the orchard and getting everyone set up with treats and food was a distraction. A welcome one. There is always a chicken to have a discussion with when she refuses to leave her favorite lilac bush base–always able to find bugs and worms that are far more interesting than I am. Iris didn’t disappoint me on this day. I finally tucked her into the orchard safely with her flock, and headed back to the house.

And as I took off my coat and gloves and grabbed a bit more coffee, I was viciously ambushed by this:

“I came home unexpectedly,

And caught her crying needlessly,

In the middle of the day…”

“ARGH!” I yelled to the empty dining room. “Stop this NOW!”

And my brain faithfully responded with:

“And it was in the early Spring…”

And then it happened. My brain stalled out on the words. 

Mercifully.

Or so I thought.

“Is that it?” I asked my brain. “Are we done?”

I turned on my laptop, sat down, and savored my first undisturbed sip of coffee.

I opened my blank document, gazed at the blinking cursor, and tried to recall what I had been thinking about earlier that morning. The thoughts that compelled me to sit down and write this morning…

But no! That line kept returning and my brain stubbornly continued to search for the rest of the stanza. 

I tried singing the song out loud. After all, the reason my brain kept replaying the song is because I was alive and actively listening to the radio when Goldsboro released this tune and won the Grammy for Song of the Year. So, yes, I can sing this whole song except that line that my brain continued (despite my efforts to quash it) to search for the words to complete.

So I resorted to the worst possible song I could find to play, loud as I could play it, and sing along to.

It worked. Goldsboro and his song shut off in my brain.

And, yes, the words to the replacement song took over. Haunted me all day.

So what to make of this latest earworm about spiders and snakes? Yes, I can hear the line being played by my brain, and I have no intention of looking up what the rest of the song sounds like, or what it is. 

It can’t be good.